What you can actually expect from a therapy session, straight from a no-nonsense therapist – Well+Good
After college, when I was living on my own for the first time, I decided to try therapy. Everything around me was new, and all the uncharted territory led me to feel small and uncomfortable. But I was also a 23-year-old who wanted to talk about dating, and my therapist, a referral from a family friend, seemed to only wanted to poke fun at that based on my perception our first appointment. I left feeling frustrated, annoyed, and belittled. And I never went back. But, here’s the thing: That’s not what therapy typically looks like—it shouldn’t anyway, at least. It’s also not you lying on a sofa, clutching a box of tissues, staring up into space while being incessantly asked, “How does that make you feel?” Since the notion of therapy is often fraught with confusion and misconceptions, it’s time to set the record straight. Here, psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb—whose new book, Maybe You Should Talk To Someone, follows her journey as a therapist who also goes to therapy—answers all your Therapy 101 burning questions, from how to find the right therapist to what to expect from that first session and how to know if it’s “working.” You asked, she answered: Find your Therapy 101 cheat sheet cheat sheet. Photo: Getty Images/FatCamera 1. How do I even begin to find a therapist? To start, scan Psychology Today to get a sense of a given therapist, learn what their areas of specialty are, and also their general vibe, says Gottlieb. Word of mouth helps too, and you can ask a friend’s therapist for a referral to someone who hits less close to home. “I’ve had so many clients come to me and say, ‘My friend is looking for a therapist, can you recommend someone?” she says. “And I absolutely do.” 2. Are there clear signs my therapist is The One? Think of therapy like dating: Once you get to know someone, your feelings will become more clear. You just have to give it time. “In the very first two sessions, I might see very clearly what this person is doing relationally, but I probably won’t mention it,” says Gottlieb. “I’m trying to make sure they feel comfortable, so that when I do feel ready to help them, they’re ready to receive it.” After a few sessions, Gottlieb recommends asking yourself a few questions to check in: “How do you feel in the room with this person? Do you feel like this person gets you? Do you feel like this person is understanding you, hearing you?” And if the answer is a resounding no, speak up: “If you aren’t clicking, don’t assume that’s what all therapy is like,” she says. “Talk to your therapist about it. It’s not awkward! Sometimes, you find out there’s something you guys can address. And, sometimes, you find out that, hey, it’s just not the right fit.” 3. Should I see a therapist or a psychiatrist? That depends on what you’re looking for. Therapists cannot prescribe medicine and psychiatrists can. But, the two often work together. “If I feel like somebody might benefit from medication, I will refer them to a psychiatrist,” says Gottlieb. “From there, the psychiatrist and I team up together with that patient. It’s doesn’t matter which you start with. Either way, you’ll get to the right place.” 4. Should I come prepared with questions or a conversation starter for my first session? No, don’t sweat it. Just relax. “Most people are a little anxious about coming in and meeting a new person. A first session feels very different from other sessions,” says Gottlieb, who uses her initial interactive meeting as a forum to suss out why a patient came to her. “I guide them in a way that will give me that information,” she explains. “I’ll say, ‘Tell me about what brought you here today.’ I’ll have a lot of questions about that, and we’ll have a conversation.” Of course, this might go differently depending on the specific person you see. So, again, if it doesn’t feel like a fit, voice your concern, try to find common ground, and if it doesn’t work out, be prepared to walk. 5. Why does it always seem like therapists are ferociously jotting down notes? Actually, that’s more so a just-in-the-movies thing. Therapists don’t often take notes IRL because it’s distracting. “What’s happening in the room is so relational, and it’s hard to be relational when you’re recording what’s happening,” Gottlieb says. “Sometimes, people will take notes in a first meeting, so they remember all the information. But after that, we don’t generally write.” Copious note-taking is more so a just-in-the-movies thing. Therapists don’t often take notes IRL because it’s distracting. —Lori Gottlieb, therapist and author She will, however, scribble a note if she doesn’t want to interrupt a client with her own thoughts. “I’m writing something down because I don’t want to forget it and I want to come back to it.” 6. Is my therapist judging me? If they’re doing their job right, they most definitely are not. “Often, I don’t agree with what you’re saying, but I’m not judging,” says Gottlieb. “If everything you’re saying is working for you, there’s no reason for you to be sitting in my office. But I do have a point of view.” That said, the feeling of shame patients sometimes feel from a therapist is a projection of their own insecurities. “They’re imagining I’m doing that because it feels similar to an experience where they’ve opened up to somebody else and have been judged,” she says. “Another possibility is that they judge themselves.” 7. Will my therapist tell me how to fix my life? Sorry, but they don’t dole out advice; it’s more about helping you find your own conclusions. “It’s not that we’re withholding the answer from you, but that we don’t know what the right answer is for you,” says Gottlieb, offering an example of marital strife. “Somebody might say, ‘Should I stay in my marriage?’ Well,
UK citizens are more likely than Europeans or those living in the US to have taken drugs such as MDMA and cocaine before sex during the last year, according to a new study. Researchers used data from the Global Drug Survey of roughly 22,000 people to find that 64% (4,719) of people surveyed from the UK had had sex having drunk alcohol, compared with 60% (1,296) from Europe and 55% (2064) from the US. Of those who took part in the study, the number who combined sex and cocaine was 13% from the UK (936) compared to 8% from Europe. Similarly, a higher number said they had had sex after MDMA, with 20% of those who participated in the survey from the UK saying they had done so against 15% from the US and Europe. The study’s lead author, Dr Will Lawn, noted that because the study was self-selecting, the proportion in the overall population was likely to be lower. The drugs most commonly used during sex across all countries were alcohol, cannabis, and cocaine, while GHB – which has been linked to chemsex parties, where participants take drugs with the specific aim of having sex afterwards – and MDMA were viewed as having the most significant effect on sexual experience. The findings were put together by academics at the University College London and the Global Drug Survey team and published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. They drew from a survey where people responded to online questions about which drugs they used when having sex, as well as how drugs affected their sexual experience. “To my knowledge no one has ever investigated country-related difference in how drugs are combined with sex, and this shows the UK may well be at greater risk of chemsex-related harm than other countries, something our country has to be mindful of,” said Dr Lawn. The British Medical Journal has called chemsex a “public health timebomb” because of the associated prevalence of risky sex. Lawn also noted that some drugs would be more popular in certain countries, leading to differences. “For a drug like mephedrone, there was a strong difference between the UK and the Eurozone because [the drug] was particularly popular in the UK but not so much other parts of the world,” he said. He said cannabis was more commonly used in the US in general and this correlated with a higher number of people using it during sex. Cannabis was the only drug in which the UK did not top the US and other countries, with 49% of people from the states combining it with sex compared with 36% in the UK. Lawn said that “differences between groups did emerge” in the study. Men who identified as homosexual were roughly 1.6 times more likely than heterosexual men to take drugs with the intention of enhancing their sexual experiences. They confirmed that GHB/GBL, mephedrone and methamphetamine are more commonly combined with sex by homosexual men than heterosexual men. Lawn said: “In summary, the overall message is that men and women of homosexual, heterosexual and bisexual orientation all use drugs with sex. We should not isolate that behaviour as something only men who have sex with men do, which is the stereotypical chemsex image. However, harm reduction messages about certain drugs should still be targeted at specific drugs to specific groups, given that the combination of sex with GHB/GBL, mephedrone and methamphetamine is more popular among gay men.” Professor Adam Winstock, the founder and director of the Global Drug Survey and a senior author, said: “Our study is by far the largest to date to investigate the relationships between sex and drugs. Previous studies have rarely compared men and women, and people of different sexual orientations. “Furthermore, by appreciating how different drugs affect sex we can tailor our harm reduction messages. These pragmatic messages can save lives.”
(CNN)Kim Newcomer became once a licensed about colon cancer; her father became once identified with the disease at age 46, she acknowledged. So after strolling again from a day out to the Dominican Republic in 2008, when she complained of constipation to her valuable care physician, she became once stunned that her physician despatched her home with laxatives in notify of attempting out her for the cancer.
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There became a huge lope when reports emerged that the Curiosity rover had detected methane on Mars. But there became a boom: it may perhaps perhaps most likely most likely perhaps perhaps perhaps now not be dominated out that its sensors had been wiggy, or something became misinterpreted.
Now it appears we can keep that discipline to rest – on fable of an unbiased source has also detected methane on Mars.
On 16 June 2013, a day sooner than Curiosity detected methane within the identical space, the European Space Agency’s Mars Specific mission, in orbit round the Crimson Planet, caught a whiff of the stuff near the Gale Crater – the distance explored by Curiosity.
A host of instruments own detected methane on Mars. But this is the main time two separate items of apparatus own detected methane (CH4) within the identical space on the identical time.
“Despite varied detections reported by separate groups and diversified experiments, and even supposing plausible mechanisms had been proposed to thunder the seen abundance, variability and lifetime of methane within the most contemporary Martian ambiance, the methane debate composed splits the Mars community,” planetary scientist Marco Giuranna of the Italian Istituto Nazionale di Astrofisica told ScienceAlert.
“Earlier than our glimpse, methane detections on Mars weren’t confirmed by unbiased observations. This most contemporary discovering constitutes the main unbiased confirmation of a methane detection.”
It makes outdated detections more disturbing to thunder away as a glitch within the guidelines, or depressed spectral decision, or even – as has been argued – methane that became inside of Curiosity first of all.
Nope. That methane is surely Martian.
And it may perhaps perhaps most likely most likely perhaps perhaps perhaps also be a in actuality huge deal. Right here on Earth, now we own got an very wonderful quantity of the stuff – about 1,800 functions per billion by quantity (ppbv) within the ambiance as of 2011, of which 90 to 95 p.c is generated by residing or deceased creatures.
There are geological processes that will perhaps perhaps generate methane abiotically. On gas and ice giants equivalent to Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune, a selection of methane is produced by technique of chemical processes.
Pluto has methane ice. Saturn’s moon Titan has lakes of liquid methane. The stuff is rarely in actuality exactly uncommon within the Solar Machine.
On Mars, too, the enviornment focus is minuscule when in contrast to Earth’s – it appears in bursts, with a world moderate of felony 10 ppbv. But figuring out the place the Martian methane came from, and the arrangement, will thunder us something new and thrilling about the Crimson Planet – even though that source is now not microbes.
The Mars Specific orbiter did in actuality detect methane once sooner than, in 2004, the expend of the Planetary Fourier Spectrometer (PFS) instrument. Or now not it’s this instrument that made the 2013 detection, too, nonetheless with new commentary and diagnosis techniques that amplify self belief within the outcomes.
“Due to the its used absorption, somewhat low abundance, and excessive spatial and temporal variability, quantitative analyses of CH4with PFS require special attention to the means the spectra are composed, handled, and analysed,” Giuranna acknowledged.
She added that the group developed a brand new means to deciding on and retrieving files from the PFS, analysing it with techniques that purple meat up accuracy and “decrease statistical uncertainties”.
(Giuranna et al., Nature Geoscience, 2019)
This required lots of work from the flooring up – which is why the pause result’s only being released now, nearly six years after the detection. But that painstaking work has paid off, on fable of it’s narrowed the place on Mars we can scrutinize methane being released.
In preserving with the researchers, transient events in a fault space near the Gale Crater are the likely space of methane release. That will perhaps perhaps perhaps also thunder why it disappears and reappears so peculiarly.
“The fretted terrain of Aeolis Mensae is in contact with the distance of Medusae Fossae Formation (MFF) and in shut proximity to areas the place the MFF has been proposed to own shallow bulk ice,” Giuranna told ScienceAlert.
“Since permafrost is believed to be one of many exact seals for methane, it’s a ways imaginable that bulk ice within the MFF may perhaps perhaps perhaps perhaps also entice and seal subsurface methane.
“That methane may perhaps perhaps perhaps perhaps also be released episodically alongside faults that destroy thru the permafrost on account of partial melting of ice, gas pressure execute-up prompted by gas accumulation all the arrangement thru migration, or stresses on account of planetary adjustments or native meteorite influence.”
We received’t know till we can dawdle search for – nonetheless now we know that additional investigation would fully be helpful.
In the period in-between, the stare for methane is ongoing. The PFS instrument continues to observe the Martian ambiance, and its total files backlog will be reanalysed the expend of the group’s new techniques.
The compare has been revealed inNature Geoscience.
The Beresheet spacecraft has efficiently done last maneuvers in make clear to self-discipline itself into a self-discipline the attach it’ll soar into lunar orbit on Thursday, the SpaceIL and Israel Aerospace Industries group equipped.
The engineers talked about they activated the spacecraft’s engines for 72 seconds early Monday morning, in what is prone to be one of many closing maneuvers before the complicated lunar need. On Thursday, the spacecraft will attain the moon’s orbit, and will need to suggested the onboard engines at precisely the staunch moment in make clear to enter into an elliptical orbit across the moon.
The four-legged Beresheet, in regards to the dimensions of a exiguous car, is on its closing and largest elliptical loop spherical Earth before it maneuvers into the moon’s orbit on April 4.
Touchdown is planned for April 11 at the Sea of Serenity.
The pass requires last precision: if the engines are now now not activated for ample time, the craft will fail to be captured by the moon’s former gravitational pull. If the engines are activated for too long, it will in all probability perhaps most certainly overshoot the moon fully. There is a actually exiguous window of replace the attach the moon’s orbit crosses the elliptical orbit of the spacecraft.
Having overcome a pair of exiguous system faults with an surprising system reset and some problems with the smartly-known person monitoring navigation system, the spacecraft is on agenda to develop the landing.
A pc simulation reveals the route that the Beresheet spacecraft will make a choice the moon, with a series of elevated ellipses across the Earth unless it reaches an orbit across the moon. (courtesy SpaceIL)
Beresheet, that stretch “Genesis” in Hebrew, lifted off on February 22 from Cape Canaveral in Florida atop a Falcon 9 rocket from the interior most US-basically basically based SpaceX company of entrepreneur Elon Musk.
Final month, Beresheet despatched aid a characterize occupied with its “selfie digital camera,” throughout which the Israeli flag can even be seen 37,600 kilometers (23,000 miles) above Earth.
The NIS 370 million ($100 million) Beresheet spacecraft is a joint enterprise between interior most companies SpaceIL and Israel Aerospace Industries, funded nearly fully by interior most donations from smartly-known Jewish philanthropists. The mission launched as Israel’s entry into the Google LunarX issue for nongovernmental groups to land a spacecraft on the moon. Google ended the contest in 2018 without a winners, however the Israeli group determined to continue its efforts privately.
With Beresheet, Israel hopes to turn out to be the fourth nation within the sphere to land a spacecraft on the moon, following the US, Russia, and China.
Beresheet on screen before its originate, December 17, 2018. (Ariel Schalit/AP)
If successful, Beresheet will develop history twice: because the main interior most-sector landing on the Moon, and the main craft from Israel to realize the orb.
If Beresheet efficiently lands on April 11, the spacecraft is anticipated to construct two or three days of experiments collecting knowledge in regards to the moon’s magnetic fields before shutting down. There, all 160 kilograms (350 pounds) of the lunar lander will pause, most certainly for eternity, on the moon’s floor, joining approximately 181,000 kilograms (400,000 pounds at Earth weight) of manmade debris strewn across the moon’s floor.
The distance between Earth and the moon is approximately 384,000 kilometers (240,000 miles). Beresheet’s elliptical route, which saves on gas wants by harnessing the gravitational pull of the Earth, will cover about 6.5 million kilometers (4 million miles). The spacecraft is touring at a tempo of about 10 km/sec (36,000 km/h) on its formula to the moon, or 13 times quicker than the utmost tempo of an F15 fighter jet.